The End of an Era

So, on Friday, I cut off Charlise from breastfeeding. Friday and Saturday nights were ROUGH! She cried a lot and kept tapping my boobs, like “hello, give me boobie!”. She calls it “naw-naw” and kept saying that. I felt bad, but she has become very dependent on me, to the point that it’s effecting her development and her relationship with daddy. So, it was time, plus she started biting- that hurts!

Lastnight, after she finally fell asleep from fussing, she slept all through the night! In fact, she’s STILL sleeping right now, it’s almost 10! That’s the longest bout of sleep she’s ever had at once! So, I think it’s a good thing.

Now, I worry what breastfeeding has done to my boobs, once the milk’s gone, what will they look like? Right now, I’m in some pain, waiting for the milk to go away, all wound up in a sports bra.

I wanted to get an augmentation, but right now, that’s on hold, since we have to pay money out of pocket for Chris to finish his commercial pilot’s license so we can come to CA. But, he says when we get to CA, I can do it. If you’re reading this and you have any advice on the matter, message me, I’d love to hear your input! (Gwynn- not you, I know your input! 😛 haha- love you sissy!)

So I’ve spent 26 months of my life breastfeeding (10 months with Jais and 16 with Charlise), and now that era is over. Lastnight I cried, well I started with laughing at the stupid skit on SNL- Julia Louis Dreyfus on the italian talk show, and it turned into crying. Each time you let your babies go just a little bit, it’s sad. It’s bittersweet. From that first moment you pee on the stick to the first time you see the heartbeat, hear the heartbeat, feel that kick . . . then you give birth and have to share this baby with the world . . . And each moment they grow further away from you. Being a mom is the most beautiful and heartbreaking role in the world . . . Today I mourn my breasts- nice and pretty and full of milk they were, now what will they become . . . ???

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